My partner and I have been dating for a while. I love him/her. Should we have sex?
Sex doesn't mean "I love you." Sex means "I'm committed to you for life." A lot of people don't know that. Having sex with someone you aren't married to can hurt your relationship more than help it. That's because you aren't having sex to show your commitment, you're showing love. There are better ways to show your love! The more you make this mistake, the harder it is for you to commit when you really want to. Our advice? Send flowers, candy, poetry or a teddy bear. They're sweet, and they protect your heart and your future better than sex!

Sex is fun, it feels good, and I like it. Why should I wait?
Yes, sex feels great. Most of us can agree to that, even if we've never had it. There are a lot of things that FEEL great, but in the end, they aren't so great. Sex is kind of like fishing bait. It looks good, smells good, tastes good, and feels good. It's only after you take a huge bite out of it that you realize you're just a fish on a hook. You can get caught by a lot of things: pregnancy, STDS and a broken heart to name a few.
Here are some great reasons for waiting until you have that wedding ring on your finger.

• You'll be free from the risk of STDs.
• You'll be free from an unplanned pregnancy.
• You'll be free to know your relationships are not based on sex, but true affection and respect.
• You'll be free to move on much quicker if your relationship breaks up.
• You'll be free to find the perfect person. You'll never be tied down to someone who is less than perfect for you.

Shouldn't I have sex now so I'll have experience when I get married?

• Ladies, do you want some other girl teaching your husband how to have great sex?
• Guys, do you want some other man teaching your future wife how to please him?

Why not wait until your wedding night, and discover a whole new experience together? How romantic and healthy is that?!

Marriage seems so far away. How can I wait? And what if I never get married?
Marriage isn't as far away as you think. The average period a person has between hitting puberty and marriage is ten years. That equals ten years of dating, making friends, planning for your future and abstaining from sex. Then you'll have the rest of your life to make up that time with someone you're committed to. Give your marriage a fighting chance!
The majority of people in the US do tie-the-knot at some time in their lives. Just because right now you can't see yourself married doesn't mean it won't happen. The person you're meant to be with may be just around the corner! Why waste your most precious gift: yourself, on anyone else?

Here are some Tips to Help You Wait.

• Set your physical limits firmly before you need to use them!
• Be Honest: Share your limits with your date.
• Date in public places
• Plan your dates ahead of time
• Pick the right person: Someone with your values and standards.
• Be the right person: Know your values. Know why you believe what you do. Live the values you have.

What if I'm currently in a sexual relationship, and I want to stop?
You always have a right to stop. If you decide that you want to stop having sex, your partner will have to accept this. Can they choose to walk away? Yes, but if they do, they didn't love you for you, they loved you for sex. It is scary to lose someone you've committed your body to, but time will help, and you'll be a better person for it!

Is it okay to live together before we get married?
It seems to make sense. You want to know if a marriage will work out. Hey, you don't want to make a mistake.
This living together thing will be a "test drive" to see if you two are marriage material.
However sensible it sounds, according to research, it doesn't work that way.

• Affairs are twice as likely among couples who live together. i
• Live-ins have a 50% higher divorce rate than those who did not to live together. ii
• Couples who are living together have the highest rate of domestic violence, even higher than those who are married or separated. iii
• Cohabiting couples report lower levels of happiness, sexual faithfulness, and sexual satisfaction.

Why these statistics?

Living together is like a game of pretend. You're not really committed, and that causes a lot of stress. Instead of working out problems, couples get used to giving up and moving on. Commitment means nothing if you can leave each other at the first sign of trouble.

Bottom line, marriage is a special type of commitment that says: "I'm here no matter what."

Living together before marriage says, "I'm here as long as you are the person I want you to be."

For persons of faith:

Recognizing that God created you in His own image and that He loves you is an important part of who you are.
God created sex to be an outward expression of commitment between husband and wife.
He wants it to be a special thing that only you and your mate share.

Genesis 2:24- For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and they shall become one flesh.

1 Corinthians 6:18- Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his own body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.

i Judith Treas and Deirdre Geisen, "Sexual Infidelity Among Married and Cohabiting Americans," Journal of Marriage and the Family 62 (February 2000): 48-60
ii Larry L. Bumpass, James A. Sweet and A. Cherlin, "The Role of Cohabitation in Declining Rates of Marriage," Journal of Marriage and the Family, 53 (1991): 913-927
iii Albert A. Roberts, "Psychosocial Characteristics of Batterers: A Study of 234 Men Charged With Domestic Violence Offenses," Journal of Family Violence 2 (1987): 81-93
iv Robert T. Micheal, John H Gagnon, and Edward O. Laumann. Sex in America: A Definitve Survey. Little Brown & Company, Boston: 1994.